"Okay, God, what are you saying", I thought. So i decided to really listen to the lyrics this time. (as you are listening now!) The line, 'me for me' stood out. I began to realize how so much of my life has been taken up in sinfully striving for affection, admiration, applause, accolades (you know, all the A's!! haha!) for 'what i have done' or 'who i will (insert: wish to) become'...you name it, prettier, stronger, more accomplished, popular, loved, whatever. I tend to see my life as a stack of things i am proud to have 'achieved' (ie. college, career as a teacher, starting my own business, marriage, a baby of my very own on the way) VS things i regret, wish i was better at, feel that i'm lacking in: working out, physical beauty, past mistakes, wrongs done to others, ongoing sin issues, becoming better at MEETING MY GOALS (believe me, i am a type-A, get 'er done, goal-setting kinda gal. nothing wrong with that unless you worship it like i often do), the list goes on and on.
So...as the line 'who will love me for me?" flowed from my speakers on the drive home, i kinda slowed the car down, sighed, and then heard a voice inside say...
It was Him.
His tender voice.
He accepts me...for me. Even when so often i can't accept myself for me.
I broke down into tears. I'm messed up, inadequate, weak, wandering, sinful, and yeah feeling physically worn down (despite my elation, gratefulness and deep JOY at new life growing inside of me!) and yet, in that moment, I was filled afresh with His sweet presence and knowledge of His abiding LOVE for me.
Really, it's not about me anyway. it's about Him and His love is what makes me whole, beautiful, worthy.
Thank you, Jesus. For fully accepting me as I am and loving me in spite of it...