Friday, September 28, 2012

God's Speaking...why isn't anyone else listening?!

oh dear. i have to admit that, many times, this post title is the default setting of my heart when it comes to things the Lord speaks to me about. Here He is being so kind in helping this little daughter of His grow in a particular area or gain a deeper conviction and/or passion about an aspect of His truth and, immediately, pride rears its ugly head and my heart says something like this: 'hmm, welp, i guess everyone ELSE needs to know about 'X', too! And i must be the one 'called' to share it with them!' ugh. it's almost humorous to think of how 'important' we think we are, in and of ourselves. the truth is my worth is in Christ and in Him alone. I am nothing, nothing without Him. I am called to boast in Christ alone and Him crucified.

Yes, there are times when He wants us to speak but there are other times (and probably more times than not, at least for me! haha) that He wants us to be silent and to just pray.


I like to hear myself talk (pride) and He's helping me grow in being more of a listener rather than crafting exactly what i'm going to say next that's going to be so 'earthshaking' and helpful to everyone around me. uh-huh.

Listen. Learn. Be Quiet.

....that's what He's telling me. not an easy lesson at times! ;)

I'm also grateful to see how the Lord has been convicting my heart of pridefully judging where others are at in their own walks and wrongly assuming that perhaps He's not speaking to Susie Q or Johnny M. It's rather embarrassing to confess our sin at times, but I'm healing & freeing, too.

The fact is, God is a big God and doesn't need me to 'enlighten' others, as i so often pridefully think. He speaks to His sons and daughters at different times and in different ways about different things and that's what makes the Body of Christ so awesome. We can love on and humbly learn from one another.

Another area where I'm seeing need for growth is allowing myself to be encouraged and helped by others. I struggle with that, since I feel I always need to be the counselor, helper, encourager, etc. Part of it is fear of feeling 'weak' or 'needy' and the other part is...wait for it...pride in not seeing myself as an empty vessel before my King in need of fellow sisters' and brothers' loving encouragement and 'spurring' on.  Part of it may be the fact that i'm an oldest child, a teacher by gifting & trade, that i struggle with fear/control, I don't know.

The bottom line is, I'm a sinner who's been forgiven, redeemed, set FREE, and have a Savior who's vigilant in not giving up on me, no.matter.what. And if you are HIS, the same goes for you, my friend.

And all I know is thanks be to God that He promises to NEVER give up on us, even in our weaknesses and failures. He WILL remain faithful even when we aren't. "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus!" 

This message and the latter half of this message by Tim Keller really 'hit the nail on the head' for me in this area. He talks about having great 'spiritual insight', understanding, head knowledge (all good stuff in and of themselves) and yet without growth in true holiness, genuine gospel humility, and asking the Spirit to cultivate HIS heart of LOVE within us for others, we are very much stunted in our growth and less effective in our personal callings/ministries as His people. Actually, we are nothing without love. (1 Cor. 13)

thanks, Google.

No comments: