dreaming amidst the mommy fog...

today, as i was juggling groceries, a burgeoning diaper bag (poopy cloth diaper and all!), a tired babes, and the mail, i was reminded of how blessed i am to be so 'weighed down'. yes, my back and legs are often (read: almost daily) sore and/or achy from all the bending, lifting, maneuvering you have to do with a seven month old and yes, i feel like a milk cow at a certain little someone's beck & call and yes, i often have to choose cleaning up the kitchen, responding to emails, and catching up on laundry while baby sleeps over sitting down to coffee & a good book these days, but i wouldn't change it for the world. i'm so grateful to be tired, sore, and unknowingly 'decorated' with dried spit up on my sleeve ;) 

THAT SAID....sometimes, i struggle with who i am now.

i used to be like, 'i'm in college'. then it was, 'i'm a teacher'. then, 'i'm a newlywed/homemaker/aspiring photographer'. now, it's primarily 'wife and mom' and while there aren't any other 'hats' i'd rather wear, sometimes, sometimes, i long to do all that i want to do, see, experience, accomplish and in the time frame i set out for myself. i long to begin a big project and actually finish it uninterrupted. those 'goals', if you will, are becoming a dim memory amidst the daily routine of feedings, naps, play times, errands, Bible Study, and other various things vying for my attention right now.

the fact is, i firmly believe it's okay and good and right to dream, hope, and plan but there is a time for everything and some lesser aspirations, i'm finding, HAVE to take a backseat right now and I HAVE to learn to be okay with that. 

i'm still doing photography and, in fact - despite any effort on my part - my business keeps getting busier (thanks, dear client referrals!). i'm loving this uber busy time and i'm also loving the fact that, come December 1st (my cut-off date for 2012 sessions), things will slow down in the photog dept and it will be good to take a little break again. it's good to pursue dreams and it's good to learn when to lay them down for a season or at least lessen your pursuit of them a tad. 

i read this on the back of my Publix Baby Club Newsletter that came in the mail today. it pairs perfectly with what's been on my heart as i'm knee deep in editing client work amidst juggling my regular responsibilities...

'Grown Up and Still Growing'

Just because moms are grown up doesn't mean we're done growing. In this season of life when we're busy meeting everyone else's needs for attention, we often neglect our own need to grow. We're so distracted by all the demands made upon us, we put our own dreams for development on hold. How can we, as moms, recognize and meet our need to continue to grow and develop our own dreams? Here are a few suggestions:

DARE to DREAM: Identify where you want to grow and then start dreaming about possibilities for getting there. Dreams begin with questions like, 'If given the gift of an extra hour today, what would I do?" or "As a child, what did I dream I wanted to be when I grew up?"

SEQUENCE YOUR DREAMS: Once you've settled on an area of potential growth, separate it into small sections. Life is lived out like a book of chapters; each season is defined as a chapter. Raising children is one chapter, but as they grow, we have time for other pursuits in other chapters, including the development of our dreams.

SHARE YOUR DREAMS: Everyone needs a 'nudger', someone who will encourage us when we forget our dreams. Tell your husband, a good friends or a family member about your dreams. Seek a 'nudger' in your life who will help you keep your dream alive.

CREATE YOUR OWN 'DREAMCATCHER': Find a tangible symbol or picture representing your dream, and place it in a visible spot in your home, such as on a bookshelf or mantel, the refrigerator door or even tape it to the mirror in your bathroom. A paintbrush can represent an artist's dream', a pen may signify a writer, a newspaper article about a new boutique might symbolize your dream to own your own business [one day].

- adapted from What Every Mom Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall © 1997 MOPS International, Inc.

thanks,google©

Was also blessed by this poignant post....feel like i'm learning how to daily lay down the cape...

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while i believe motherhood was designed to be the most beautifully tangible expression of self-sacrifice apart from the Cross, that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be void of dreaming about our God-given gifts and then creatively cultivating them, as He gives us the grace & strength to do so, according to every season of our lives...it's just all about timing.